all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize