All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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