Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize