omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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