you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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