in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
