we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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