the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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