so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
i now understand why vodka
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize