OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
