you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
