she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
