i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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