You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
