I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
