did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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