I think im going to throw up on grandma
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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