Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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