My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
