Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
