no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
