ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
