He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
