Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
