you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
