It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
