Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
