Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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