Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
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