Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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