I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Alive.
So much puke
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize