Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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