she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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