new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
