We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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