All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
