So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
