Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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