dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i drank out of a bidet.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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