The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
