I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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