I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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