i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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