Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm passing your future prison.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
