i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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