we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
