Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize