giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
