What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
