wat bout pragnant strippers??
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
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