He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
honey bunches of taint.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
