ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
