Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
