I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
