i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
