I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Don't EVER smell your tampon
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
